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Vanessa Bryant, continuing to come to terms with the death of her husband, former NBA star Kobe Bryant, their 13-year-old daughter, Gianna, and seven other people, expressed grief and anger in an Instagram post-Monday.

“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone,” Vanessa Bryant wrote. “I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live.”

Kobe Bryant, 41, his daughter and seven other people were killed Jan. 26 in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California.

Vanessa Bryant said she realizes she has to remain strong for her three surviving daughters, Natalia, Bianka and Capri.

“I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters,” Vanessa Bryant wrote. “Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri. I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this.”

The post was accompanied with a video from Slam Magazine about Kobe Bryant coaching their daughter’s team, the Los Angeles Times reported. The video clip shows Gianna playing basketball, Kobe Bryant coaching, and a brief interview with Keri Altobelli, one of the nine crash victims, the newspaper reported.